Why You Shouldn’t Hang Up On Ron

Several years ago, a client wrote a really nice poem about the work we at Disaster Masters carried out on her home.


Why You Shouldn’t Hang Up On RonRon phone
I could feel my heart beating faster and faster
Is this the service called Disaster Masters?
My hands were shaky as I made that first call
It was not what I was expecting at all

A gruff voice answered, “How may I help you?”
My clutter is out of control and I don’t know what to do
Although the man sensed that I was afraid
He responded, “Why don’t you just hire a maid?”

I thought that I must have reached a wrong number
And was ready to hang up and return to my slumber
What legitimate business would answer in this fashion?
But in that tough voice I detected a note of compassion

I remained on the line and relayed my sad tale
An apartment overrun with trash and junk mail
The man listened carefully and began to probe
You sound like a classic “disposophobe”

I’d have to assess your situation with my own eyes
Don’t waste your dough on professionals who offer to organize
Forget those self help books, shrinks and talk show jerks
Just follow “The Plan” — it’s guaranteed to work

When Ron and Melissa first walked through my door
I almost died of embarrassment that’s for sure
“We’ve seen it all so get over your shame
It’s time to let go of self-loathing and blame”

I was finally ready to combat my fears
He was the first “guest” I’ve had over in 25 years!
I suppose it’s some form of obsessive-compulsive disorder
But was I a clutterer or was I a hoarder?

Melissa is “Numero Uno” on the Project Management team
She’s Ron’s polar opposite so it would seem
While Ron barks into the telephone
Melissa speaks in a honeyed tone

Whatever the reason for their mutual attraction
United this couple instantly springs into action
They assemble the perfect “Mission Impossible” crew
And begins to implement “The Plan” for you